Let’s talk about self care
Oct 21, 2020
Self care is such a hot topic at the moment, and one that is really close to my heart. But at the same time I often think these articles about “making time for one’s self” and “making self care a priority” are a little unrealistic. Don’t we all wish we could allocate a whole morning to ourselves or spend a Saturday at the spa once a month? But really with juggling life’s realities, be it work, motherhood or everything else, for me tips like that are pretty useless, not to mention frustrating.
So I decided to really give this concept a bit of thought and really think about how I can prioritise self care, and make time for it in a realistic way. Are you the same as me? Hustling work - in my case my own business, motherhood, my home, my relationships with girlfriends and my marriage, not to mention our picking-up social calendar now that Covid is (somewhat) behind us? My Daily Edit very quickly fills up with all these things, not to mention appointments and extra murals. Self care? In my dreams!
Here is how I made realistic adjustments to prioritising self care:
Defining or redefining what self care is to me
For example: I’d love a day at the spa but that isn’t going to happen at the moment, so I decided to rather look at smaller, shorter pampering sessions like having my nails done, going for a quick blow dry etc.
2. Make a list of realistic things that classify as self care, here is my list:
- Salon pampering: Eg: having my nails done, a blow dry, a facial.
- Reading: Here is something you may not know about me, a guilty pleasure is a good trashy novel. I love them.
- At home luxuries: I love my Babylonstoren candle that I was given for Mother’s Day - it is really one of the things that is mine, for my indulgence at home.
- Audio time, for my favourite Spotify playlists and Podcasts on my “to listen” list.
- Netflix: at the moment I am loving The Duchess! Try it, it has me laughing out loud!
- Exercise: I sometimes go through phases of saying I didn’t have time for this, but lockdown really kicked me into gear. There are so many options for exercise that you can find something that works for you from a class, to a run or even online classes now.
- NOT cooking! I am a huge fan of cooking, trying new recipes and even convenient offerings like UCOOK but a night of no cooking feels like such a luxury.
- A quiet coffee with friends. I’ve always loved a time with my thoughts, my planner and a cup of coffee. But I missed my girlfriends during lockdown so much so a quiet coffee now includes a girlfriend and endless chatter - I love it!
3. Allocate time and schedule it like a meetingI then sit with this little list, which I have written in the notes section of my Edit, and I make sure when I schedule my week, which I try do every Sunday night, I allocate actual time for these parts of my life. I won’t get to do all of them every week but I will make sure I have a balance of making time for these things that I love. Giving them an allocated time in my calendar helps me commit to me! For example, after dropping the girls off at school: Go for run or walk. Or Wednesday night: Uber Eats and Netflix - that is in my meal plan, there is no decision to be made about it. Something like a Podcast, which I love, I download at the beginning of the week and listen to it while I do a few chores like packing up orders or packing school lunchboxes - this turns a task into time I enjoy!
4. Know some weeks will be better than others
Some weeks I get to Friday and I feel depleted and that the week has disappeared on me and most of the time when I look back I realise I have neglected myself completely. That’s okay, these things happen, and I make sure the coming week I commit to this time again. I forgive myself and move on.
5. Communicate to your support system
I think that it is really important to communicate your needs to your support system, especially your partner. You both need your self care time but often, in a world where us women wear a whole lot of hats our self care is the thing that is sacrificed. I chatted to my partner about this and we have made “my” time a priority of our family and turned it into something positive for my husband and girls - they get this “special” one on one time so that I can take a breather and it works for all of us.
Honestly, gals, I know that it can be hard but it is so valuable for one’s well being. It can be a slow transition but if you can, take small steps towards looking after yourself - you deserve it!